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Marrying a Chartered Accountant : FUN STORY

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   Marrying a Chartered Accountant 

When I told my mom that I wanted a professional woman as my wife, she got me one; a Chartered Accountant.

She uses LIFO method while taking out the refrigerated food.

She thinks I am no good at figure work. Fine with me, for now she handles the budget of the house.

Initially she used to send me a bill at the month end, but when I told her that I am not her client but her husband, she asks for the money in advance.

The expenses had been rising steadily over the months, so one day I snooped into the papers maintained in a current file.

No wonder! She was charging conveyance and overtime to the house budget. She is crazy, I tell her but she corrects me.

“No my darling, I am the auditor.”

I fail to see the light. Every scrap of the paper in our house is filed.

She tells me as per some Ordinance she must keep a copy of every thing for at least ten years before destroying it.

I am worried. The other day we had an hour-long fight. Later, I got to know that she had charged that hour to a client of hers, in the time sheet. My time was put down as unoccupied.

She says that she loves me and I tell her that I love her too. However, she never believes me.

She says that there is susceptibility of it being a misstatement. Duh! She wants my representation on this & Expert opinion of some Expert!

Not a long time back my brother’s wedding was to be solemnized. Wedding cards had been sent. After some time I started receiving a steady trickle of letters.

I was puzzled until my wife explained that external evidence was more reliable.

She had called for confirmations from all those to whom cards were sent. When she cooks, my wife at times does not go by recipe.

Where the recipe says add half-teaspoon vinegar, one tsp black salt or one teacup of water, she ignores them.

She says that they are not material when taken in context of whole meal being prepared. She is crazy, I tell you.
Surprisingly everybody calls her an auditor, instead. I checked the dictionary and it did not state that auditor is a synonym for crazy.

The dictionary must be outdated. When we got married, she had given me an Engagement Letter and I Had said how cute-how sweet.

Now she gives it to me every year saying that her standards state that it must be sent anew if there is any indication that I have misunderstood the objective and scope of engagement.

Huh! Apart from sending me the engagement letter once again she says I can’t get rid off her just like that.

She says that she has the right of being heard before I appoint some one else.

It seems I must keep reading one local and another English newspaper published and circulated in the vicinity of our house for more details.

Phew! For a minute, I thought that we had jeopardized our going concern status.

Duh! Dare I say so?? I am told by one of my female colleagues who is married to a CA that the scenario is even worse when the guy is a CA.

Apparently he capitalised the wedding expenses as preliminary expenses and is writing it off every year.

Also the time he spent dating his wife before marrying her is still under consideration for valuation under AS-26…valuation of intangible assets.

So guys please think twice….should u really marry a CA? And yes please discount it by the appropriate rate to arrive at the present value of the risk of doing so !!!

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How to study without getting bore?

This problem often seen in students. Students say they get bore after studying for sometime.Here is the method which i applied on my self. This showed a good result.
1. Select a peaceful place with plenty of fresh air.
2.Always use a chair or stool to study as it protects us from laziness and hence from sleep.
3. Select a limited work or pages or topics to be covered in a short span of time. The selected pages or topics should be less than your average speed of reading. e.g. if u can read or learn 8 pages in a hour select 6 for hour.
4. Drink water whenever you feel sleepy. Can also try coffee or Soda containing caffeine and peppermint toffees or chewing . Chewing also keeps brain active by supplying blood.
5.Read and learn as you are not a student but as you are a teacher. Explain each every thing to yourself in the language you like most. Treat nearby area and walls as students.
6. Listen some music after some pages or topics as a reward.
7.For numerical or practical subjects listen some soft music in slow volume along with study.
8.Feel the importance of each and every topic in your life. Try to get examples for each topic.
9. Correlate each topic or paragraph with something. Like while studying something about business try to correlate it with your own business or friend’s business.
10.Make songs or poems of difficult lines you are unable to learn.

:– CA Alkit Jain



You all must be wondering,what an idiotic topic i have chosen today.. As studying widot taking any kind of stress is not possible in CA field..

But my friends,i want to tel u dat its possible..

Let me start with telling you,what STRESS actually means..
We generally use the word “stress” when we feel that everything seems to have become too much – we are overloaded and wonder whether we really can cope with the pressures placed upon us.
Anything that poses a challenge or a threat to our well-being is a stress.

Now coming back to the topic..Studying without taking any kind of stress is possible if we manage our time and studies in a synchronised manner..
We all generally get stressed up when exams are near and we are left with number of topics to revise..
but now we have to learn the technique how to tackle the exams without facing any stress..


* Firstly,just calm down and relax.. Choke out a proper schedule to study.. Dont make targets that are too much.. Make realisitic targets that are easily achievable. and always keep some days as reserve to complete the topics that could not be done earlier.

* Next,in the row is study according to the schedule that you have prepared for yourself. Even if you are not able to achieve the targets,dont get tensed.. Instead complete those topics in the days that you have kept as reserve.

* Many of us aloof ourselves and stay with our books for the whole day. But my dear friends it is not right. Our mind is not a machine. It also needs relaxation for sometime. So instead of spending your whole day wid books,spare some time out in the evening to roam around and chat with your parents and friends.

* now,the very comman thing.. We always have those friends who say that ‘bhai mera toh almost sara ho gaya tera abhi tak ye bhi ni hua’ so i would like to advise you all to please avoid talking to these kind of friends during exam days,because they will create a mental pressure and you wont be able to grasp the things properly.

*Last but not the least,before you go to study relax,take a deep breath and then study with all your concentration.


all the best