JOKES

JOKES RELATED TO CA …. AT ONE PLACE MUST READ N SHARE

For more Jokes Visit here : JOKES ON CA

The INCOME TAX ACT, 1961 says that
AUDIT can only b done by…
ONLY CAs!!!
Not by chote bhai(CWA),
Not choti behen(CS),
Not kale kottwale(LAWYERS),
Not by Lutte-pitte MBA’S…
ONLY CA’S.
MIND IT!!!.

for CA Student…
Best T-shirt Quote ever:
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“i don’t need a girlfriend..
“my studies irritate me everyday…
that’s enough”

 

CA mai Allied law

Aur

Ladkiyon ki awwwwww
Dono samjh se bahar hai  😛 😛

 

Group study is the best way…
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To ensure that none of your friends have studied
either  :p

Imagine an Audit Report: Dear Stakeholders, Financial statements
are responsibility of management… On
the basis of info provided to us we are of
the opinion that Internal Control Kamjor
h, Loan ka jor h, Management Chor h,
Employees Kaam chor h, Creditors ka shor h, Bad Debts more h or hum Auditors
Independent h… Or yahi AAS 4 hai..

 

 

ESSAY ON CA STUDENT

CA student ek vichitra praani hota hain.

Yeh jyadatar Institute ke paas paya jaata hain.

Inhe fail honey main mahaarat haasil hoti hain.

Inme padhne ka keeda hota hain,

isiliye yeh metro main,bus stand,park ,gurudware ,library me in short kahi bhi

khalli jagah par padhte hue dekha ja sakta hai.

Inme baat baat par maaro maaro chillane ki

aur party mangane ki aadat hoti hai.

nhe sone se nafrat hoti hai

yeh subha 5 baaje utth te hai aur raat ko 12 baje sothe hai.

Waise toh bharat ke kai rajyon me yeh paaye jaate hai

ITO inka priya milan sthal hai.

Inki kamaai ek chaai waaley se bhi kam hoti hain.

Inke ghar mai AC ho na ho paar class me AC nai hone par

yeh marne maarne pai uttar aate hai.

Inme male prani class me comment pass karna,

seeti bajana ,break break chilana,

ladkiya tarne me bhi samarth paaye jaate hai.

“Inhe apne employer aur ICAI ki buraai karney mein vishesh anand praapt hota hain.”

 

Two CA’S were getting married, during marriage
ceremony, wife vomits, husband asks the
reason wife says –
Profit prior to incorporation.. .AS-5

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Typical CA student:
1. Jo samajh me na aaye use out of course
declare kar dena ya option me chhor dena.
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2. Har attempt k end me
aelan karna ki agli attempt achhe se padhenge.
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3. Padhai karte waqt cell silent par rakhna and
har 5-5 minute me dekhna ki koi msg to nahi
aaya.
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4. Group study k waqt bar bar kehna,
“Chalo ab padhte hai, ab koi
bakwas nahi karega.”
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5. Kuch bhi padhne se pehle,
pages count karna.
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6. Common dialogue: Kal se
pakka Padhunga…

 

Once CA PAPER HAS BEEN LEAKED
OUT.
Q) Wat Is Da Capital Of France?
IN EXAM: Students Write PARIS Is Da
Capital Of France
RESULT DAY: Students FAILED
EXAMINER COMMENT(Wid A Devil
Laugh): Capital Of France Is “F”.
CONCLUSION: Even If Da Paper
Leaks Student Cannot Pass. Hahaha

 

 

Most of the students feel proud because they
took admission in CA

moral:- ‘CA’ bs naam hi kaafi h 

 

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C.A Girl” (vidai k waqt):
Papa roiye mat, meri 1 baat dhyan se suniye,
Tent wale ko, catering wale ko na contract amount pr T.D.S kat k payment kijiyega fir challan ki copy bhijwa dijiega,
return “ye” file kr denge,
nominal si fee lenge aap se to..
Moral :- income ki koi bhi opportunity na chhodo

 

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A Dr.& A CA. luvs D same girl.
Dr.givs her a rose.
bt CA. gvs her apple daily
Dr.ask y?
CA.:~AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY!
DR shockd
CA rocked!!

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Once a CA got selected in Indian Cricket Team!
He raised his bat on scoring 40 runs and again on 60 runs!
Sachin tells him “It’s not a 50 or 100”.
CA says “Tumhe kya pata, ONLY a CA can understand the importance of scoring 40 and 60!!”
Sachin shocked, CA rocked!!

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THTS CALLED A C.A.

A Newly Qualified C.A. walks into a bank in Mumbai nd asks 4 a 50,000 loan. D bank asks 4 a Security nd d guy hands over d keys nd documents of his BMW which park on d street in front of d bank.. aftr all necessary check d bank agree 2 grant him loan. D bnk president nd al officers enjoy a good “laugh” 4 guy 4 using 1 crore BMW as collateral against a Small Loan. dan d car was…parkd in d banks garage safely.

2 weeks later d guy returs nd repays 50,000 nd d interest which comes to 200.
…
D loan officer says, Sir v r very happy 2 dis transaction, bt we r a little puzzled. while u were away, we checked out nd found dat u r a”MULTIMILLIONARIE” dan y did u bother 2 borrow 50,000??

Dan d guy replies, wher else in Mumbai can I park my car for 2 weeks for only 200 and expect it to be ther when I return.. thnx 4 apne meri car ko itne pyar se rakha…

 

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CAs ki Shaan me,others dont mind pls..
One ws engineer
One ws doctor
And the third one ws a CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT.:
Before transferin all his property to his sons he put a condition dat all three of dem have 2 keep 5-5 lakh rs wid his grave:-
After his death
Engineer went nd put only 3lakhsiin grave sayin kaun sa pata chalega……
Den doctor came nd put jst 50,000,
An went back…..
Nw it ws d time of C.A he went dere and said i’ll nt do any fraudwid ma father …..
I’lll obey his order as he said
He jst made an a/c payee chequeof rs. 8,50,000 & kept it there and took those rs. 3,50,000 wid him .
Dats wht r C.A’s made for……
Dey dnt do anythin wrong ,
And dnt leave anythin rite……
C.A’s rock!!  

 

 

7 reasons why I choose CA.
1) I hate 2 Rest
2) I have already enjoyed life in childhood.
3) I luv tension.
4) I don’t want to spend time with family..
5) I want to take revenge from myself
6) I luv 2 study on Sundays &holidays
THE BEST ONE
7) Pass hone ki khushi bardasht nahi
hoti thi yaar, kasam se..!

 

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Father: Tumhare CA k Result ka kya
hua………??
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Son: Headmster ka beta fail ho
gaya,
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Father: Aur tum…??

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Son: Doctor ka beta Bhi fail ho
gaya,
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Father: Aur tumhara result kaisa
Aaya….??
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Son: Wo Wakeel Ka Beta Bhi fail
Ho gya,
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Father: Kamine mai tera puch raha
hun
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Son: To Aap konse Rajnikant Ho,
Aapka Beta Bhi Fail Hai.

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Different Girls fighting with their
husbands:
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Pilot’s wife:
Zyada udo mat samjhey..!…
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Teachr’s wife:
Mujhey mat sikhao…
Ye aap ka School nahi…
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Dentist’s wife:
Daant tod k hath me day dungi.
….
Doctor’s wife:
tabiyat durust kar dungi…
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BBA/MBA’s wife:
Mind your own business,..
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Engineer wife:
zayda current na maro…
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CA’s wife:
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Pehlay Pass to ho lo phir baat
karna …. 

 

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ONLY CA CAN DO THIS …..

Ek Bridge ka Tender nikla.
Ek Madrasi ne kaha 30 lakh mein bridge bana dunga.

Authorities ne puchha kaise??

Woh bola:
10 lakh mere,
10 lakh ka material,
10 lakh labour ke.

CA bola:
90 lakh mein bana dunga!!

 Authorities ne pucha:
Itna mahenga kyun?? 

CA bola:
30 lakh mere,
30 lakh aapke.

Authorities bole:
Aur bridge kaun banayega??

CA bola:
Bridge Madrasi banayega 

CA got the tender…
PROUD TO BE PART OF CA.

Full form of Audit..!!
A=all
U=U
D=Do
I=Is
T=Tick

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LOVE VS CA EXAM:-D
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LOVE: Many thoughts in mind but
no guts 2 express it…
… … .
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CA Exam: Dying 2 express but no
thoughts in the mind!! :p

 

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Once a CA and Engineer were into an arguement
Engineer got angry and said to CA” I will wrap
you in thermo hydrolite and throw you with a
speed of E=mc2 (square).
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CA replied for E=mc2(square), you will require
to have an atomic blast by importing Uranium
and building a nuclear reactor, in your case,
– You don’t have licence to import Uranium
– To Build nuclear reactor u need finance and
you dont have that.
financial instituition in india will provide you
that,
– You don’t have government approval for an
atomic blast,
– by the time the notification for approval of
blast we will be dead already.
= so your threat is good to hear but practically
not feasible and not at all viable when the
provided data is taken into account.
Engineer shocked, CA Rocked…!!
Moral: Don’t ever mess with a CA.

 

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those who do Accounting are known as Accountants…!!

those who do Auditing are known as Auditors…!!

but,
those who do both Accounting n Auditing are known as Articles 

 

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You Know ? why there is no RAGGING in CA
Course???
smart answer. kyu ki yaha koi nhi jaanta kab senior
junior ban jaaye or junior senior

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Today my frnd asked, where r u going for
valentine day.
i replied
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Income tax department….:-D:p

 

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CA students ki koi ni sunta..
Jin – Hukum mere aakka!!
CA student- Mere harsubject mein 100 marks aane chahiye aur mein ICAI ka president ban jau.
Jin- aakka! hukum kro, bakwaas mat karo!!

 

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Meeting:-
ICAI President: Guys, I think results of CA FINAL
didn’t scared our students that much
what should we do now!!
I.T Deptt- Don’t worry! We will lift the exemption to
file ITR for salaried persons to increase Articles
work!! Hahahaha
ICAI Member- Lets spread rumour that you’ll have
to score 5% extra marks for passing exams!!
BuhahahahaICAI Member 2: Hey, I’ve a brilliant Idea lets
announce IPCC results on 31st July!

Everyone: You are a Son of devil

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Teacher: Osama has 5 wifes and 20 Children,
Laloo has 1 wife and 9 children. Who is better?
CA Student: Osama’s NPV is good but Laloo’s IRR is better

CA on his death bed:
My wife, are you here?
“Yes dear”
My daughter, are you here?
“Yes dad”
My son, are you here?
“Yes dad”
MY ARTICLES, ARE YOU HERE?
“Yes SIR”
KAMiNO fir OFFICE me kaun hai

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Side effect of excess CA study:
A boy went to restaurant.. He wanted to see the
MENU but he forgot what its called and he said
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Bring the Module please!

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Difference between
normal friend
and c.a frnds
A frnd normally ask to his frnd : or
bhai kya haal h.kya chal raha h. sab
badiya h. enjoy kar raha h.koi nyi gf
banai.
A c.a studend ask to his frnd : bhai clas
aa raha h?,koi amendment ayi h,ye
section yad karna h?,ye humare liye
applicable hoga?, ye kaise yad karna
h?,kaunsi buk refer karu?

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CA Students ko ku6
aye ya na aye
par 1 chiz zarur ati hai..
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Bina OFF button k calculator OFF karke
dikhana…..!!

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CA
dedicated songs:CPT-jalak dikhala ja, 1 bar aaja aaja
aaja

PCC/IPCC-Yeh galiyan yeh
chobara,yahan aana na dobara

COCHING-Idhar chala me udhar chala

SYLLABUS-Ajeeb dasta hai ye,kaha
shuru kaha khatam

ARTICAL training-Aa khushi se
khudkushi karle

FINAL- Musafir hu main yaro

ICAI- Q paisa-paisa karti hai,tu paise
pe q marti hai

EXAM-Zehrili raate, ninde ud jati hai

RESULT-jane kya hoga rama re,jane
kya hoga mola re

PASS-aaj me upar asmaan niche

FAIL-Jag suna suna lage ;(;

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CA Student’s True Fact:
Tadpati mohabbat ka bas itna
fasaana hai,
!
!
Girlfriend ghar pe akeli hai par……….
!
!
!
Hume to Articleship pe jana
hai……….!!!!!!

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Ye Saala CA me registeration Kab
Hota Hai ??
..
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..
..
… … …..
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Answer : Jab Time Kharab Chal Raha
Ho
Raahu, Ketu Or Shani Ki Dasha Kharab
Ho
Aapka Mangal kamjor Ho
AUR
Bhagwan Bhi full Maje Lene Ke Mood
mein ho

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Collector bante hai jo IAS padhte hai,
Doctor bante hai jo MBBS padhte hai,
Lawyer bante hai jo LLB padhte hai,
Engineer bante hai jo BE padhte hai,
aur
In sab ke BAAP bante hai jo “ICAI” me
Padhte hai….

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A shy young guy goes 2 bar & sees a beautiful gal sitting alone.He gathers some courage,goes 2 her table & asks “Would u mind if i sit here”She resonded loudly'”no, i dnt wanna spend nite with u”everyone at the bar turns & stares at d guy.Young guy shocked & embarresed,goes back 2 his table.After few min. the gal apologized & said”SEE i m a student of psycology & studying how people respond in embarrassing situation”guy rspnded loudly”Rs. 3000, that’s 2 much”.Everyone stares at d gal.guy silently say”le panga cmrce k student se

 

For more Jokes Visit here : JOKES ON CA